Alright folks, first of all; sorry for such a long absence. I finally scored a job as a graphic designer out here in Vegas, and I’ve been logging anywhere between 10 to 12 hours a day. I’m exhausted, but I figured that I’d get on here and regale you with yet another tale involving myself, and the lovely Ms. Sparkles. She made her first appearance in the virginity story a while back. This story is super long, so it makes up for lost time.
This particular story recounts where it all began. The world has quite a peculiar way of setting up situations. For instance, I met Sparkles at a county fair, fifty miles from home, and almost two years before the fateful day when she made me a man. There was nothing fantastic about that night. As a matter of fact, she was a friend of my best friend, and just so happened to be at the fair the same day that we were. Funny, I don’t remember saying a single word to her. I’m sure I said hello, but I’m willing to be that was the extent of it.
Fast forward two years, and we started talking, on the internet of all places. If I had to guess it was MySpace, because like many failing musicians I set up an account hoping that by some divine act of God, I would gain recognition. I did. However, it was a different form of recognition; from the ladies. Now, let me just clarify, I wasn’t swimming in the ol’ tang pool by any means. I’m almost twenty two years old, and I’ve only actually gotten laid by three women. I’m quite alright with that, as a matter of fact I find people that sleep with everyone they meet to be rather disgusting. This is clearly a combination of jealousy and sarcasm, but I digress.
Getting back to the matter at hand, we started talking. After a while of exchanging flirtatious texts back and forth, we decided that she should come out and visit. This frightened me for numerous reasons. Number one, I talk a pretty big game, and can sweep any woman off her feet over text messages. I’m a writer, it’s kind of what I do. I am not, however, very great at improvisation. I’m not nearly as smooth in person as I am via text. Number two, at that point in my life I had not been laid, by anyone. My boy parts might as well have been rotting away on a shelf like an old toy. Number Three, I was what’s commonly known as socially awkward. To this day, it still takes me at least a month of knowing someone before I can really break out of my shell. Number Four, and this was just the icing on the cake; I still lived with my parents.
Now, after hearing all of those reasons, I’ll admit; I wouldn’t even want to lay myself. So, the fact that any girl found me interesting enough to drive twenty miles to see me blew my mind (and later, my wiener.) However, she did come out, and I remember just sitting outside with her on the tail gate of my dads truck. Every once in a while she would inch her way closer to me, and put her hand on my thigh while we talked.
Can we just take a moment to thank the heavens for that alone? Women these days feel that a man needs to make the first move, and it’s absolute bullshit. If you wan’t it so damn badly, then reach on over and take it. When has a man ever said, “No, get your hands off my dong!” Well…me, but we’ll get to that later. Anyway, getting back to the story…
It was cold. So we decided to just sit in her car and listen to music. She not only listened, but seemed intrigued with what I was saying. After a while, my balls thawed out, and I decided to be a man. I looked at her, and in my head, I’m pretty sure I said something along the lines of “Target acquired” but who knows. I leaned over, and kissed her. Boom. Within minutes, things are getting hot and heavy. She takes initiative and invites an old pal of mine, Dong Johnson, to the party. Let me tell you, HE WAS EXCITED TO MAKE AN APPEARANCE.
She doesn’t blow me. Why would she? It’s the first time we’ve ever spent any time together, and she’s got a little thing called class. I did, however, get an unbelievably fantastic handy. It was great, listening to music, making sweet love to someone else’s hand for a change, things were looking up. After another hour or so I told her that I had to get some sleep. I had work at 7 the next morning, and it was already past midnight. I got out of the car, walked over to her, and kissed her goodnight and headed to the front door.
Like many of these stories, things didn’t end there.
As I’m walking up the porch to my front door, I hear her engine turn over. Multiple times. If I had to guess, I’d say at least 4,000. I stop dead in my tracks, and turn around thinking one single word, “Fuck.” I knew that if my parents for some reason decided to wake up and hear a car turning over outside, they’d not only look, but investigate. If either of them found out that there was a woman making conjugal visits to their sex depraved son, shit would hit the fan.
She get’s out of the car, and smiles at me. I walk back, and say this cannot be good. Thinking back, I knew that listening to music for endless hours in an idle car, would most likely drain the better. However, at the time I wasn’t thinking clearly due to the fact that a woman was giving me attention in the most pleasurable of ways.
Luckily for me, she called a friend in the area, and asked for a jump. He was an acquaintance of mine, and I really didn’t want him finding out that she and I we’re…getting to know each other. So I did what any man would do, when faced with a situation where you have the opportunity to stand up and show your true colors. I grabbed her hand, looked her dead in the eyes, and said, “Well, see ya.” Then went inside, and slept like a baby.
Over our short time together, Sparkles would open me up to a whole world of sexual experiences that I never thought I’d have the pleasure of enjoying. The kind of stuff you usually only see in porn. Ridiculous bj’s, facials in the park after dark, swallowing every single time, erotic yet strange ball stuff, she even bit my dick once, which I didn’t care for, but we’ll get to that another time. She is to this day, the only woman that never played games. What you see is what you get, and I’m not lying when I say it was perfect. She was the sweetest girl that I’ve ever met, and I hope wherever she is, she’s doing well.
Until next time, friends.
-Scott Walker
